ATV Florida Forum

well i just figured i'd say hello to all the beautiful women who like to get a lil dirty. have a good day. ;)

yeah hi ladies

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you boys kissin butt or what?  :-*

I dont mind kissing a fine lookin females butt  .............. ;)as long as it's not hairy

lmfao  ;)

450, I don't think they want you or any other males hanging out in "The Lounge".


Besides, it distracts them from baking cookies, and doing other girl stuff.

I was bored no one has been on the site in like 2 days .it's misery not riding and no one to chat with.

see i"m good cuz I can bake cookies, do a load of laundry, wash dishes, make the kids some snacks and still see what you 2 are up to! lol See Women are really good at mulitasking ;)

Hey rico atleast I can make a girl laugh ,they say a way to a girls heart is to make her laugh ..along with making her feel safe .Am I right girls or am I totaly off base here?

A big schlong helps too.

Y'all both have a good point but in my books you still have to be cute and built nicely.  Personality and thingy will only get you so far.  Won't get you to the tuna boat w/ me. hahahahahahahaha

Shut up and knit me a sweater, woman!

lmao that $h!ts funny right there

Get the F out of my/our room you two jackarses.  Another target please, and add one more to Rico. ;D

Yeah your right QT looks are important but hell even they don't last. Get with someone feel comfortable with them and you don't have to impress anyone and you start gaining weight..lol A good attitude helps to....ask Rico he'll tell ya what a good woman wants.....everything he can't give :)

wow whats going on here. i started this as a nice freindly post. now everone is bashing on each other. can't we all just get along, or at least get in on. >:D

does size really matter? if so is it the size of the heart or the size of the thingy thats more important?

I guess no body want's to take on that question.

Uncle Rico and I have free passes into the ladies lounge since we wear ladies underwear.

Uncle Rico and I have free passes into the ladies lounge since we wear ladies underwear.
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i have no respones to that :Wacko.gif

No you have free passes cause you have edible ladies underwear and we like to take bets on who's going to eat the others panties off first.

I thought they had free passes b/c they wore each others panties??? Boy am I outta the loop.

And 450r I know you've heard the saying
It's not the size of the boat it's the motion in the ocean ;)

but i garuntee that a dingy will get lost in rough seas well before an ocean liner

Jodi is gonna be sooooooo mad at you for telling us that!!!

Why?!? you been peeking in our window again?

that sick bastid probably has a hidden camera!

good nite ladies SWEET DREAMS dont let the bed bugs bite or uncle rico (I hear he has rabies j/k)

whoever told you that motion/ocean thing was trying not to hurt your feelings...hey QT, I need a sweater too...get busy!!! ;)

Considering I'm a woman if someone told me that I wouldn't need a man ;)
And if a guy knows how to use it I don't see how the size has anything to do with it ;)

Unless thats why so many women are going after other women! Men are so stuck on the size and i don't see why it really matters. Obviously the only thing that matters is if you get yours  :-*


Hey QT I need a sweater too you wanna go shopping :) I hear Bass Pro has a sale this weekend  :P

I agree with you bluepits, we don't need men. Don't matter if big or small a woman does it better  ;D

I know most men are out there to get theirs and go to sleep, I'm sorry you ladies have never had a man that actually enjoys "taking care" of their ladies. 

didn't bachman turner overdrive write a song about "Taken care of business" ?? If you are into other women instead of men, can I watch?? :P >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D >:D...I'm sure rico will be chiming in any moment now....remember, if you can't touch the sides, it doesn't count

So Gary does that mean your a virgin???   LMAO

Sorry Gary, I can't be responsible for you finding out what you've been doing wrong all those years.

So then you make the girl cross her legs huh :)  

And pinch the top     ;D

It's only bad if he has to pinch the Top AND the Bottom

So how can the whole motion of the ocean theory help me if the girl tells me "is it in yet"?

I heard his wife saying something about that one time we were all out at the ranch together but didn't pay any attn to it.    :-\

I guess you need to pinch the top and bottom    LOL

Thats when you tell her to slack of the ho ho's and fake it

Or tell her maybe it's not your boat it's her Ocean :) start doin some Kegals..lmao

have her stick a ham up there and pull the bone out, that might be a bit better for ya

If it's that big he'll have to strap a 2x4 to his @ss and hope he doesn't fall
in

I would too even as fat as I am...  but in my case I might need a 6X6....  I would still want a recovery line tied to myself just in case

make sure you tie off to something and take a megaphone to call for help


You know it's bad we have an extreme site for this kinda stuff but no one goes in it

ouch, ouch, and more ouch..... :'( :H...being  bluepits and dream chick are such experienced women (I think) in this category, perhaps you can tell us humble men what works for you and teach us all a lesson or two (mudd freak, pay attention here)

obviously something you wouldn't know anything about freak!!

your right I fall asleep before I'm finished     ;) ;)

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREEEEEE!!!! :Clap.gif

If you boys put as much effort into women as you do yourselves you would make someone very happy :)

I'll have to check with my wife on that and get back to you. I can't help it that I'm beautiful and full of twisted steel and sex appeal ;)

lol twisted yes sex appeal I dunno about..If you know Freak you gotta be strange ;)

I always try and satisfy before I even start that way there is no room for complaints later

I always thought that was the ONLY way, especially if you wanted to be invited back for seconds

from what I have heard some women say alot of men only care to be satisfied and once that happens it's roll over and go to sleep.

You know freak I usually dont go under my name but I haft to now.You guys are single talking about how well ya'll satify your woman friends so you can get seconds,but you must not be too good or you would have wives and get it every night.I could tell you guys a few pointers if you would like.
1.wake up in a good mood and cook the chick some breakfast.
2.wake her up with a smooth kiss and tell her how beautiful she looks
3.go to work call her a couple times a day just to see how she's feeling or doing
4.come home from work and fix her dinner and clean up your mess
5.watch some dumb love story movie and act like you are enjoying it
6.give her a shower---then give me a call you know you could never satify a women so stop lying to yourself and give me a call.
7.if she she says give her 12 inches and make it hurt--do her twice and kick her in the head.
8.if you have any questions refer back to rule #6-ask you girl who Jody is she'll tell you.

If you are refering to me I am married for over 10 years now and very happy so is the wife.
Have you ever heard the expression fat and happy well we are very very happy
 
here is a picture of me the wife and one of our puppies zoey

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Thats sweet but I was more less refering to carl.Did you ask her if she knows Jody?lol j/k

Kari, does he actually do this???   

Now why settle down for just 1 person, you know it like an old pair of shoes, she does eventually wear out and you have to buy new ones.

#'s 3,5 and the first part of 6 and he tries 7 but it doesn't work out that way....and Freak the only time you throw a pair of shoes out is when they either get a fungus or they get too wore out and floppy or they just don't fit right anymore...You know that can go double for guys :) But they make a fix for the floppiness. And some men are just too lazy to finish the job

I'm sorry your man is floppy, better get him on the little blue pill, also sorry that he is to lazy to finish the job. 

i dont know what you guys are talking about,"get married and get it every night." why buy the cow when i can have the milk for free. and trust me i drink my milk at least once a day.

I can't argue with you there...

Kari you're crackin' me up girl.  I'm not sure where I went wrong but I haven't read this thread.  Boy have I been missing out.  Wish I had read it before the weekend.  I went to Bass Pro and would have invited ya to go.

Gary you could only wish Blu could give you some pointers on how it's done. 

 back to the peanut gallery with you.... where is my sweater dammit!!

If this was the case here I wouldn't have 3 kids!


You know that comment worries me and it's probably b/c I've got a really bad mind...Sorry Dog I have to ask, if it was that easy then why are you drinking your own milk? And knowing your in the military saying that and your overseas I don't know if I'd be braggin about getting it everyday I mean you are in a strange place. lol I'm just picking on ya dog, cuz uh I ain't no cow... I only have 2 boobs :)

Maybe the kids aren't his??

yeah ok that's kinda impossible considering the circumstances of IM NOT A SLUT!! oh yeah and they look just like him

lmao

Thats not what Jody was screamin last night in the bed room    ;) ;)  LOL

Do I wanna know why you were in our bedroom lastnight freak?? I know you think Jody's cute but come on now thats takin it too far :)

Remember You had hid me in the closet and asked me to video tape it for ya, so you can sell it and make a few pennies

Yeah I know but you ran off with the video whats up with that ????

I had to edit it so Jody would look like he actually had something for the ladies to look at    :o :o

Ohhh ok well don't cut it any he's been doing pretty good with it for the past 10yrs :)

I hear bell ringing in the background...

Yeah you ready for round 2?

this is getting good I need to go make some popcorn and get a jumbo soda pop.

lol yeah I always new his name was Freak for a reason, he's the only one that could crop another mans manly hood and feel good about it. :)

You know that comment worries me and it's probably b/c I've got a really bad mind...Sorry Dog I have to ask, if it was that easy then why are you drinking your own milk? And knowing your in the military saying that and your overseas I don't know if I'd be braggin about getting it everyday I mean you are in a strange place. lol I'm just picking on ya dog, cuz uh I ain't no cow... I only have 2 boobs :)

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know dont get me wrong, im not calling any of you lovely ladys cows, or any other type of animal. im not into that type of thing. i was just useing it for an example. and about the whole "being overseas, in a strange place" your right, it is a strange place, but that dont mean they love it any less. matter of fact, they prob love it more. like 2 or 3 at a time >:D. you can just go ahead and ask qt about that one ;)

yeah but all that strange is gonna be like a male dog running around loose, He'll hit anything he can while he's out but at some point he'll gonna catch something unshakable :)

Dog you're on your own here.  I know nothing about any incident you are speaking of. :o

dog these ladies got you out classed.And if you are getting some everynight its with yourself and that dont count,I also would advise against being with the $luts over seas ,they have things you can catch that will cause the military to leave you behind the military normally warn you of this before your deployed.so stick to satisfying yourself until you come home then find yourself anice girl to settle down with and make a family .then you will see what is truly satisfying.

its not the sluts i mess with in japan. all those other countrys ive been to, ya, there all over the place. but i live in japan. they're all normal girls, well, as normal as the japanese get. and they all seem to love american. i guess they think its a free ride. you can ask anyone whos been stationed in japan. you dont have to pay for it. oh ya and there is a thing called a female Marine. and trust me most of them are worse then the guys i know. so thanks for th advise, but its not realy like in the movies.

were I work we mainly hire x military and train them to be machinists ,x militaty normally make excillant employees ,they have great work ethic.I do know a few that were station'd in japan think it was okinawa.they did say you could have a different girl daily if you were willing to take the risk of std's.I have also heard that most women join the military for the undisclosed benifits if ya know what I mean .A guy I work with told me a few stories that ended with him getting his tube scraped OUCH.but good luck with the ladies and thank you for serving this country.

I am cringing at the thought... :'(  QT, I expected a better response from you...try again


devil dog, are you really in Japan?  Thanks for serving in the military...when you are back in the states, I will bring you to RR for a riding weekend...tell me more about them geisha girls!!!!

jody works with a guy that was in the military like 20 or 30 years and he just came back to the states 10yrs ago. His reason....he got a japanese girl knocked up and in Japan you have to pay child support up front BEFORE you leave. He had to pay something like $50k before he could come home to the states and get discharged. It's crazy but it's effective. He also tells stories of a place you can go that you pay top $$ to have a girl sit on top of a glass table and you lay under it and she pees.. Sounds sick to me but he said they are kinky like that.. Dog you might want some suvieners but I'd get the one someone else might want or the one you can give your mom if need be ;)

WTF? what would be the reason for that .Thats nasty right there :B

some people are down with the sick $hit and some (deff. me) aren't. when i was over seas the only females i would mess with were the army girls. yeah some may have been sluts but then others were looking for their next huisband as well. my buddy got suckered into that (moved to hawaii and all). when it was time for the girl i was seeing to leave she cried and tried to make me move and i told her Hawaii dont want me (hell FL doesnt either). i couldnt imagine messing with the locals where i was........ AFGHANISTAN......... um no. i dont think so. i knew a couple of guys that visited a WH@re house there and said it was ok. i think i just threw up a little in the back of my throat. but anyways i would be VERY carefull cause if the MP's catch you fratinizing, or you catch something AJAX wont wash off, you'll be sorry.

I suppose everyone has their own type of enjoyment. :B 

Yeah I guess I'm just glad they are over there :)

c'mon pits... freak says you are into that kind of stuff...tell the truth

He wouldn't know what I like but he did say something about you were showing him YOUR glass table in your living room. But he got all red and started stuttering and couldn't finsh what happened  :P

He told me to lay under the table then he got on top of it and started dancing in a very sexual manor, I thought all was going to be ok and I could just sneak out when he wasn't paying attn, that was until the glass broke and he landed on top of me    :o ??? :o ???

not the kind of golden shower you had in mind huh? that one hurt more i bet

You loved it and don't deny it!!  Dam,  I am still pulling shards of glass out of my belly button...

LMAO you know I was just fooling around but I think I hit the right buttons to make these boys come out of the closet! :) oh and by the way TMFI !!!!!!

you can always join us in the closet for a round and hide and seek...we like new players...it makes things much more exciting when you hear screams in the dark :H....

Man, I haven't heard this much sex talk since I was in prison!


Me, personally, I'm waiting 'till I get married. I can't wait for my first time. It's gonna be awesome. I just hope I don't pass out from being so nervous.


I'm sure glad I waited.

Hey Rico, don't forget to ask your dad if it will always hurt your backside that much :-[

No thanks I don't like playing hide and seek especially in the dark with two confused guys I mean I'm not a guy so I'm really not your type. :)  And who was that last statement for Gary?

Hey, where you been...I expected your voice a long time ago

clarification given

What do you mean I'm not your type?  You have no idea how good looking I am and I loooooove the little man in the boat!!

I think that says it all.........

Well to make this easy I'm married so I no longer have a type :) And Uh Surgeons can make the lil man in the boat on just about anybody these days  ;)

And if you need proof just ask Rico he said freak had the littlest man in the boat he has ever seen.He was so small rico couldn't even knit him a sweater.

that night was cold....  RICO you said you would never tell anyone   LOL

Bluepitts you are cracken me up .You seem like good people we should all get together sometime and go riding.Were do you normally ride at?  ( freak im not talking sex now)

Crazy....   I usually do most of my riding somewhere in or around my house.    ;D ;)

by yourself with a magazine does'nt count

Gary do I need to have a talk w/ Mandi about your recent coming out next time we're at the ranch?

Blu we need to get another CTM ride going!!!!

Crazy-If you're lucky we'll let you come along.

Rico-when the hell are you going to make it out w/ us?

Freak well just nothing so say about him it's already been taken care of.

However Gary and Freak- I'm staying in Paco's trailer next time out at the ranch so you two can have some quality time alone.

oh well screwed again I have never been lucky.I guess I can always hope for a first.lol

Hell I'm not staying with Gary when he has his boyfriend in the trailer.  The last time we were all out there I heard some strange barnyard noises coming from the back of his trailer, I was afraid to ask.

Hey freak this is Jody,I wrote the last post under bluepits name. Rico told me your man in the boat was a dumbazz he forgot to put the plug in .so he drowned.


450rcrazy  we usually ride when I'm not working where ever we can find a good spot.If you want to get together and go on a ride lit me know and I'll try and get a Saturday off.


he Freak I'd throw you a life preserver but I dont have a cheerio.sorry

Hey Crazy buy a puppy and your automatically a honerary CTM crew memeber! And if you would like I can make you a shirt like I did Spongebob I mean Freak! As long as you don't mind being Patrick or squidward.. I'm debating on naming Rico or Dog as Mr.Crabs!!! lol

I love puppies but I already have two and they are hard enough to keep up with ,although golden retriever's are a mere snack for a pitt bull.lol does this mean I cant be one of the crew :'(

I'll tell you what if you still want to be part of the crew you will need to get ahold of Freak and beat up his man in the boat and bring us pics.Then you will be an official member.

sorry im not going there.I am not getting any were near his man in the boat,I cant handle that serious amout of hazing to be part of the group.If you would have asked me pooh on his porch or pee on his car that would be one thing but this no it's just not worth it.I have to much self respect.If I beat up his man made man in the boat that would involve touching it euww.

LMFAO blu!  Awe crazy you are letting us down about your name. 

Come on how crazy can you really be if you can't step up to the plate?

I'll throw in the shoulder length gloves so you won't actually be touching skin to Boat :)

I'm crazy not stupid ;D

1) leave the wife out of this(besides, for the record, I have no interest joining a in  sausage festival)
2) pits, you are a riot
3) crazy, I feel for ya but you heard the boss
4) Rico....enough said
5) Freak....enough said
6) QT, staying in Paco's trailer???you better think about what you just said and the amount of $$$ it is going to take for psych counseling after being with him and all the farm animals overnight...but then again, you are probably into that kind of thing...

you dumba$$,  that was YOU on a ruffie

Sorry Gary that wasn't me, I remember all my nights at the ranch.........  Unlike some of us  LMAO

na, never mind...I won't say it on a open forum...restraint!!!

go ahaed gary say it I can handle the ridacule

Gary, I think it was Crazy who was in Paco's trailer when it was a rockin, and herer we all thought it was Brenda........

could be....I will have to ask Paco....It still frightens me about all the farm animals bailing out the door of his trailer that morning..they all had their tails tucked between their legs running like raped apes

who's Paco? and I think those may have been Rico's gerbals running around.was not there so I dont know for sure but I have heard stories.

screwed again???  that is what every guy in the world looks forward to.  The whole world revolves one thing...women got it and men want it :bow.gif

Paco is a guy (rico's cousin??) from my campsite w/ freak, QT, and Rusty at RR

incest?

got to get back to work I'll chat with yall later.

relative, genetic mistake, I dont know...it must one of those family deals where the family tree looks like a telephone pole...Uncle Rico, Uncle Dad..coincidence?

Birthday Card that would be fitting to some walks of life.....

Happy Birthday Grandpa, Uncle, Dad, Brother!!!!!!!!!

I'm hangin out in the ladies lounge from now on it's the most entertaining room in the house the rest of the sites been kinda dead lately.

nuttins even happinin in da lounge must be kids eat free at the I-HOP night

sorry to  disappoint...I only "work" during the day ;)

You don't even work then, hell another 90 minutes and you'll be sleepoing you old man!!!!!!   LMAO

1) thats Mr.Old Man to you
2) I will be in siesta land in 53 minutes ;D

I thought the closet was your room of choice? :stoogies.gif

Ok Ok O really don't need to know what your goig to be doing with yourself in your office.  YOu know people have gotten fired for doing that kind of stuff     ;D ;) :o

what a nice nap-I love working for the government ;D

only if your sister is in there j/k 2:L

freak,  crazy is requesting your presence :-*

thats the best comeback you could think of?

by the way what does CTM stand for?

Hey Crazy, I'll give you my sister, she even comes with a handy dandy 7yo Beer Opener/Delivery Servent

Thats ok I'll pass but thanks for the offer.

CTM-


Carl Touches Members
carl tries masturbation
Can't Train Men
Carl Touches Men
Can't Touch Me
Cute Tan Men
Can't Touch Momma


Captain The Morgan... You had to be there to understand

must be one of those perverted inside joke things

No perverted thing about CTM.  It was just some funny stuff that happened on our first ride when we all met.  Good times Blu!

YOU were there....now I know it was perverted ;D

No, it's only perverted when you and Paco are around.  Quit squeezing my arse dammit!

good game!!

Hey Gary one Day someone out there is gonna give you a good game and were gonna start hearin Banjos playing in the back ground.  Rusty and Paco are gonna look at you then look at each other and say "That there boy has a purdy mouth......"

Dude, you already got that covered!!  Remember last time you were out there on that roofie????  Farm animals in the back of the camper and it was you doin' the violating??  Wasn't Uncle Rico cheering you on?  I only went so far as the bleacher seats before I got freightened.

The banjos are warming up....I hear it now...

ATTN EVERYONE: Carl will be at the Ranch this weekend with a gallon of vasoline and some F.D.S. (woman will understand) He is a waiting for some formiable subjects to approach him in the woods at night.  In case you do not know him, he will be the naked individual jumping out of the woods at people on the trail yelling "shazam"

this thread is getting more and more out there.I like the distorted way yall think.

you mean this isn't real life?? I thought this was how normal people acted

yeah me to. i get so much sleep. im garunted a min. of 2 hours max no more then 7. :K

also this thread is so far gone from whhat i stared it at, yall should be pround there ur sick n twised minds and pervert such an nice thread. ;)

Who ME?!?!?!  :M

I'm confused! ;)

Thats what Paco and Rusty told you too........

So you're saying you want to meet our sick n twisted minds for a ride when you come home.  You'll fit right in from what I've seen.  Hey where the F are the pics you were gonna send me?

Freak enough w/ the gay sh*t.  Time to come up w/ something new or ppl are gonna think you have a gay fettish going on.

I don't think its a fetish anymore...he has said an awful lot :H

yea yea yea....  tryin to keep it goin......       ;D

Gary don't sleep back side up when Carl's at camp.

no shzit!!!!!

Gary I think the one you have to be worried about is QT with the 18" long 10" girth black prosthetic device that she has a a SPECIAL holster for.    :o :o ;)

OK now I'm just wondering how you know about this black prosthetic device there Carl??? Did you demonstrate how it was used? lol j/j

No demos, but she did try and beat me with it one day    :o

no,no,no,no,no...the visual has scarred me!!! no holsters, no beatings, no floggings!!!  oh my, the cost of the counseling sessions

I had to take it from Carl he was scaring the children. :o

Yeah I'd say if I saw someone his size coming towards me with a big black prosthetic I'd be scared outta my mind :)

OK, I give , now that its in your possesion what are you doin with it? ;D

nope, not even going THERE!!!!

She's Gonna give you guys a few pointers on how to use the real thing! Show em QT so maybe they can learn what makes a woman go OHHHHHH! instead of uhh lol

I am sure this comes from a real "pro".  18" long 10" round, my azzz but on the other hand, if you need something that big, more power to you. You are in grand canyon territory....hellooooooooooooooo

I'm afraid of it myself.  I just took it so the kids wouldn't be scared anymore.  I also needed to get it out of commission.  No one needs anything that big.  There'd be no OOOOHHHH moments I'm sure. :o

ROFL