That was to funny
Here are some random thoughts
A Woman's Random Thoughts
Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat, now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat."
They say you shouldn't say anything about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good.
A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't give a damn.
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?"
New Words to an Old Dylan Song:
How many roads must a man drive down
Before he admits he is lost?
Why when a man becomes married is he
unable to find his own socks?
How many times will it take 'til he knows
he has seen The Three Stooges enough?
The answer my friend, I cannot comprehend
The answer, I cannot comprehend.
How many shows can a man surf through
before the remote burns out?
Why does he think that an intimate gift
is a Dustbuster Plus for the house?
How many sounds can a man's body make
before he sleeps on the couch?
The answer my friend, is take two aspirin
The answer is take two aspirin.
Why when we go for a romantic drive
do we wind up at Builder's Square again?
How many nights will he leave the seat up
so I land on cold porcelain?
How men really feel is a mystery to me
and probably a mystery to them.
The answer girlfriend is driving me to gin...
The answer is driving me to gin.
Mama Grizz
