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Title: Message to pets Post by: SwampRat on June 21, 2005, 04:17:05 PM Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids ...they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, won't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children. Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: Albright335 on June 21, 2005, 04:27:49 PM LoL!!!! ;D
Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: MxRacingChick21 on June 21, 2005, 05:00:58 PM :D Thats pretty funny.
Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: Mrs.Nightbreed on June 21, 2005, 05:40:14 PM ;D That's cute! and oooooh so true ;D
Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: susieblazer on June 21, 2005, 09:18:26 PM So funny and yet true, we love our "fur" babies............... Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: qt314nfla on June 21, 2005, 09:42:14 PM Thanks for a great laugh. I had to read it to my mom and laughed hysterically as I read it.
My dog is the only child I'll be having in this lifetime. Title: Re: Message to pets Post by: Quad32x on June 22, 2005, 04:06:04 PM Thats super ! ;D Thanks for the laugh !!! ;D ;D
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